I closed my eyes to Sedona’s red landscape and allowed myself to be still and quiet. It was then I heard, “You cannot live here, but you are welcome to visit.” I opened my eyes and looked around. I was alone. Spirit had spoken.
When Dan and I were traveling around the United States, there were several cities we heavily pondered if they were move-to-worthy. “Is this where we call home?” We knew Los Angeles was no longer for us, but we didn’t yet know where our new home town was.
When we traveled to Sedona we had the pleasure of having lunch with a lovely new friend. With Sedona’s majestic beauty as our canvas we exchanged our stories and adventures. Originally from upper state New York, our friend had felt called to move to Sedona. Upon her arrival, she said Sedona challenged her with various uncanny incidences - as though it was assessing her and in turn, making sure she did indeed want call Sedona home.
She said Sedona had a way of letting people know if they were meant to stay -
if they were allowed - to live there.
She went on to share the story of when her mother came to visit. The mother had declared that “She too would move to Sedona!” Our friend grew concerned. A friend of Native American ancestry said that Sedona would decide if the mother could stay and it would be very clear. After an afternoon of shopping, each hand filled with various bags of treasures and souvenirs, the mother tripped and fell in to a fountain. The poor woman received a bruised knee and a small gash on her forehead. Soon after, the mother said Sedona was not for her after all.
Sedona’s signature is its majestic red-rock formations, framed with evergreen pine forests. Internationally known for having various energy vortexes, Sedona is a special place revered by artists, mystics and many seeking healing. According to our friend, every landmark had a distinct energy - either masculine or feminine. The ones that felt easy to ascend were masculine and the ones that felt easy to descend were feminine. One would assume moving downward to be automatically easier because of the law of gravity, but I can assure you that is not always the case in Sedona. I have experienced both energies. In Sedona, you have to dismiss science for sentience.
SEDONA’S SPIRIT SPOKE
One afternoon, as we climbed a formation, I felt like I was walking backwards. The more determined I was to move upward, the harder it became. I grew agitated because the path looked easy - it was smooth with a gradual rise, but it felt like I was moving through quicksand. “Ahhh”, I realized, “This is feminine energy.” I surrendered once I recognized the power I was resisting and found a place to sit, closed my eyes and listened. Settled in a cradle of warm red rock, I heard people drift away. Voices and movement were replaced with a soft breeze that swept my cheeks and ears. It cooled the warmth of the sun on my skin, though its heat permeated the ground. Everything became soft and melodic. Then I heard it. “You cannot live here, but you are welcome to visit.” I opened my eyes and looked about. There was no one else there. In that moment, it was just me, the sky and earth. I closed my eyes and listened once again. “You are not meant to live here, but you can visit when needed.”
I understood. This was a direct answer from Spirit to my question: Could we call Sedona home? I eventually got up and made my way back down and reconnected with Dan. The descent was very easy; it took mere minutes. I shared my experience with Dan, “We can check Sedona off the list because Spirit said this is not meant to be our home.”
AUSTIN SAID WE WERE NOT ALLOWED
When we got to Austin, Texas we really thought it could be the town for us. Austin had so many things on our check list, even built-in friends; Dan had been able to reconnect with Esther and Perry and their adorable son Diego. They were so incredibly welcoming and sweet that we instantly felt our hearts get cozy in Austin. One afternoon, Dan and I had an in-depth chat on moving to Austin, while walking through Zilker Park, home of the Austin City Limits Music Festival.
As we were walking and talking, I stepped on a small twig in such a way that when it broke, it snapped up and cut my the top of my left big toe. Ouch, but no biggie. The next afternoon we went kayaking on the Colorado River and “oohed” and “awed” at Austin’s atmosphere. We really liked it! That same evening, after returning from dinner with our friends, I discovered my back had broken out in a horrible rash. It was nothing I had ever seen or experienced before. It was fire to the touch. Luckily our hosts were able to provide me with an antihistamine that cleared it up in a few days.
I believe that because I didn’t comprehend the first message - my toe being cut by the seemly random twig - that Spirit sent me a bigger and clearer message with the rash: we were not meant to live in Austin. The messages had come through in a physical way because I had not paused to ask and listen. In my excitement, my mind had rushed forward with all the reasons why Austin could be it - and had forgotten to check in with my heart and Spirit.
You’d think after Austin we would have stopped analyzing every town we went to “Is THIS the one?” But, we did not. Richmond, VA? Fort Collins, CO? Boise, ID? Kirkland, WA? Portland, OR? We mentally exhausted ourselves.
THE SPIRIT OF SANTA BARBARA
Santa Barbara is considered a paradise, a tourist’s gem of must-sees on the central coast of California. Some people appreciate its eclectic architecture, history, eco-friendly philanthropy, eateries, wineries and beauty. Underneath it all, there is a special energy inherent to the terrain that Santa Barbara rests on. The town has its own vortex and healing and spiritual communities. I believe it is a sister city to Sedona. All the while during our travels, Santa Barbara had never once occurred to us as a possibility of being our new home. Go figure.
After we drove around the United States we paused in Santa Barbara for a few months before venturing overseas to South East Asia. Dan’s parents, Bonnie and Bill, had lived in SB for over twenty years, so it naturally became a home-base for us. It was the perfect retreat in between our adventures. When we returned stateside we went back to Santa Barbara.
We are deeply grateful to Dan’s parents for opening their home to us each and every time. Santa Barbara was the perfect town for us to readjust back into American culture as it took us a few months to get back into the swing of things. Santa Barbara was just the right size (small), with just the right pace and eclectic enough for us to recalibrate.
Dan’s parents’ community of friends and coworkers warmly embraced us. Dan ended up going to grad school at Santa Barbara University and I got my yoga instructor certification at a local yoga studio; The Santa Barbara Yoga Center. I soon cultivated new friendships through my yoga and volunteer communities and was able to begin teaching yoga as soon as I was certified. Dan was offered a teaching position at a middle school in a neighboring district. Between our educations, professions and community - it all seemed to align so divinely. In many ways, it felt like Santa Barbara rolled out a red carpet for us and said, “Welcome! Why don’t you stay awhile?” SO many elements of our life seemed to fall right into place.
It is no secret the cost of living in SB is high. It is considered a transient town because many folks move here and within a few years learn they cannot afford to stay. The cost of living has certainly made us feel uncertain of how long we could/can live in Santa Barbara. One can get priced out quickly and quite easily. “We can stay for now, but for how long?” is a legitimate concern that always bubbles in the background. That said, we have been very fortunate to connect with amazing opportunities through wonderful people.
In 2019, the fall before Covid, we spent a weekend in Paso Robles, CA, a favorite wine region of ours. On our last afternoon there, we decided it would make sense to move to Paso Robles the next year. The timing would allow Dan to finish out his school year and look for a teaching position in PR. I was ready to dive deeper into channeling and could hold sessions by phone or online. When needed, I could easily drive into Santa Barbara to hold my healing workshops every few months. It all made logical sense and we felt excited about it (sort of). We toasted to our plan. Clink! Clink!
That very week a few days later, we received an email from our friends whom asked if we were interested in renting their home. We didn’t even ponder it; it was an immediate yes. We breathed a sigh of relief and were grateful to call Santa Barbara home for another few years.
INVITED TO STAY
As a mystic, I have a depth of respect for the Spirit of Santa Barbara. I trust we will live here as long as we are meant to. When that time comes to end, we’ll know. It will simply mean a new chapter is to begin. I never really asked Spirit if SB was meant to be our home, I have simply trusted in the allowance of us to stay.
On January 9th, 2021 I received the following message: You have been invited to root into Santa Barbara, to call this your home. To truly ground in and allow yourself to thrive spiritually and prosperously. You are allowed to “dig in” and call Santa Barbara your home. You were initially born into this Earth, here. This is where you first came through the portal with The Ancient Ones. It was from that initial birthing that your other lifetimes on this plant proliferated and grew from…You are meant to be here, to dwell here, to call Santa Barbara your home and to thrive and prosper.
Wha???!!!
I was blown away by this beautiful message and every chance I got, I practiced gratitude to Spirit. A gentle breeze, the sight of the ocean, a colorful array of leaves cascading to the ground, mindful steps on a walk - each moment were gifts and practices of gratitude.
I had been living with a “temporary mindset.” The amazing experience of being nomads for a better part of a year had conditioned me to be comfortable with this. I could hunker down, get organized, but lived as though it was all temporary; like a film set. The message from Spirit made me aware of how I had not been allowing myself to get truly comfortable and call Santa Barbara home. I was essentially waiting for the other shoe to drop and when it did, I assumed, it would boot us out of town.
After all that searching, the one place we had never considered calling home was Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara was patient, kind and generous with us and let us know when we needed to know. Everyone that helped us along our paths is really a gift. It really has felt as though everything and everything came together to make sure we could stay. Amazing.
Trust. It really is part of the magic.