Our skin bares the truth of time. What ever comes to be on our skin can become symbolic, a moment or period of time in our life forever captured. I view my blemishes like bookmarks of when, where and why. I can take you on a tour of my imperfections and walk you through various chapters of my life.
I have not always had this sense of appreciation for my “flaws.” As a child, I remember scouring my chicken pox scars and felt distain for their permanent defections. I do not know when or how my belief system came to be wherein I perceived scars as ugly, but it was imbedded early on. That sense of shame was carried for many years to come. When I was nine years old, I cut my shin on the corner of a rusted bumper while playing a game of tag on roller-skates. The laceration was deep and left a distinct, dark, jagged scar shaped like a dagger. The tip aimed down my shin. For years after, I was self conscious about it.
Fast forward to my late teens when body piercing and tattooing became more main stream. Body piercing is a form of modification by puncturing or cutting a part of the body, to create an opening in which jewelry can be worn or an implant inserted. The process of tattooing deposits ink into the skin with a tattoo needle. The needle punctures the skin - both the epidermis and dermis so the color application is permanent. The end result of the etching can be a remarkable and unique image. I viewed both (body piercing and tattoos) as tributes to one’s ancestral, primal self. The process(es) were rites of passage, that held honor and reverence. As soon as I turned eighteen, I got my belly button pierced. It was an act of defiance and rebellion: I declared this was body, my life and I will brandish it as I want to. I felt liberated and empowered; so I gave myself a second set of ear piercings. At nineteen, I got my first tattoo and my second at twenty one.
One might venture to say that it was my teen spirit. Perhaps. Though, I did get my nose pierced five years ago on the day I auditioned to teach yoga at my first studio and “got the job.” Afterwards, I went directly to a professional piercing studio in town and got my right nostril adorned. It was a token of celebration. I was forty years old.
Five years later, I now have a horizontal incision on my lower abdomen due to my recent hysterectomy. The left “end of the line” butts right into my first tattoo. (My doctor was so sweet and considerate: she really tried not to cut into my artwork.) My c-section scar is fresh, dark and incredibly tender to the touch. I already love it because it represents so much. Daily, I apply a shea butter balm infused with lavender and feel it sing with relief. I suppose over time, the color will lighten but I appreciate the scar, now as it is.
I have chosen to have my body “in-perfected” and as a result am better able to appreciate my physical self. To this day, I look upon my tattoos and piercing(s) with a sense of appreciation and love. Twenty seven years later, my belly button remains pierced. It’s been a part of me for so long that I feel bare with out it. All my piercings had to be removed prior to my surgery and every time I looked at my navel I felt so… naked. My tattoos have faded a bit, which is to be expected and though I could opt to have them recolored, I am perfectly ok with them as they are.
This walk of life and how I view it is a learned perspective. My mother was enraged when I got my belly button pierced and tried to pre-shame me on tattoos by stating how slutty they were. Now looking back, I remember how my mother truly tried to erase her imperfections and prevent her body from changing. She seemed to hold her body in contempt. I understand how hard it would have been for my mother to challenge her shadow beliefs and turn the tide into practices of self love and appreciation. I made a conscious choice to find ways to love my body. Yoga has certainly helped. Perhaps the process of permanently scaring and puncturing my skin did too or….perhaps it was the process of the aftercare? To properly heal a body modification, one must be patient and nurturing. Maybe it was an homage to self love that I felt called to feel, to experience, to Be with. I cannot speak for others but I invite this; the next time you see someone with a piercing and or tattoo, whether it be one or many, try to see the expressions of their life journey. We all have a story to tell and whether by injury or intention, a scar can become a beautiful reminder.
The belly balm was gifted to me by a thoughtful friend. Lavender essential oil has antibiotic, antioxidant, and antiseptic properties that can help promote cell and tissue growth. Studies have shown it promotes wound-healing. The balm was created by a local company in Santa Barbara: The Grapeseed Company.