“When you are in difficult situations, there is no room for pretense. In adversity or tragedy, you must confront reality as it is.”
It took the hardship of my mother’s transition to reawaken my passion to live a life filled with joy. Her transition, powerful and profound, was one of the hardest experiences in my life, but it was filled with many moments of deep love in between all the hard ones. From that experience, I knew there was something deeper in life to connect into. After my mom died, I was forced to look at how unhappy I was work-wise. I knew if I left my profession as status quo, I would continue to contribute to my sense of discontent. I wanted to feel fulfilled. So, I made changes. Big ones.
Dan and I quit our jobs, let go of our adorable condo in Pasadena, sold lots of our belongings, stored some and then drove around the United States. Thereafter, we were able to travel through South East Asia for three months. The immersion into the two very different cultures gave us an opportunity to really look deep within. We were able to identify what our personal values were apart from society’s priorities.
Our life changing decision to stop the hamster wheel was huge for us and for those around us. We took the snow globe, turned it upside down and shook the sh*t out of it. Some phrased it as a “leap of faith,” other’s one of insanity and irresponsibility.
We come from a culture that conditions people to fear failure; mistakes should be avoided at all costs. With that mindset, people believe they are limited - they dream less, hope less and settle more. Risk is taking a chance on the adventure that is your life. Sure it was a little scary for us because of the uncertainty, but there was a sense of ease in knowing this is what we needed for our heart and soul. We left behind comfortable and familiar to embark upon a journey of the unknown. There was simply more to know and we wanted to consciously cultivate a life of fulfillment, not one of idle-ment from a source of self love and knowledge rather than a mindset.
There were individuals whom could not comprehend our choices and said unkind things due to their own limiting fear. I was harshly asked by one person, “What do you plan to do when you return to reality?” My honest reply has been in the way I’ve lived my life since then; Our reality was and is to be as we cultivate it.
Those that disagreed with us were not reflections of all that was possible or not possible for us. Their perspective - perhaps their entire belief system - simply differed from ours. It didn’t make them bad people, but it did clarify who was going to grow with us.
Our Western culture fear of failure is perpetuated by our brain’s default mode to find flaw and fault as a way to keep us safe. This puts us in a continual state of fight, flight or freeze that will affirm the mind’s logic of looking at what is wrong and in turn will reinforce our physical state of being in, and staying in, survival mode. The longevity of this intensity in and upon our bodies can be devastating to our physical and mental health. Living in fear can cause apathy and render your outlook as impossible.
Comprehend the cultural fear of failure and you
cultivate the courage to make necessary changes
needed for your heart and soul.
The only thing constant in life is change, so why not have life be that of your conscious choices? Intention by intention. Nothing is done by leaps and bounds, it’s all moment by moment, breath by breath, one step at a time. Living moment my moment, rather than expectation by expectation, can release us from striving and into a space where we can thrive mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Being open to change means allowing room for errors and mistakes. No one and nothing is “perfect.”
Mistakes are not failures, they are merely valuable life lessons.
What you learn will increase your inherent knowledge and that is something
no one can ever take away from you.
It becomes a part of your individual wisdom and personal empowerment.
Perhaps the conviction to live our truth gave us the courage to take a new path. Maybe it was like diving off the edge of reason, but no matter how anyone else saw it - it didn’t matter, because we’re happy and fulfilled. That said we did feel universally supported and loved by many throughout our life changing adventure. Part of change is trusting you have an invisible net of support awaiting you. When we made our choice to change our paths, so many wonderful aspects came into alignment. It was as though the Universe said, “We’ve been waiting for you to do this and we’re so happy you have. “
Everyone deserves to live and enjoy a full life but it is up to the individual to create that life. I’m not talking about the “American Dream” - I’m talking about your personal dream. What is that for you? My dream doesn’t look like anyone else’, nor will yours. And that is precisely why you need to honor it; no one else is here to do what you are meant to do. Trust your heart and what it needs. Trust your dream and what it needs too. Trust there is support ready to walk with you. Be open to change and letting go of attachments to things and people you know do not serve you. Be open to co-collaboration and errors because all of life is a tapestry woven together; your individual thread adds every bit of color and essence needed. Lastly, take the pressure off of yourself by realizing you don’t need all the answers all at once - just be open to receiving, discovering and experiencing them. Life your life; the unknown is simply a journey awaiting you.
“You must never be fearful about what you are doing when it is right.
I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”