I am of mixed ethnicity. My mom was Mexican-Spanish-American, with a little dash of Native American Indian. My dad is Filipino-Chinese, with a dash of Irish. When it comes to the Ethnic box in filling out applications, I often scratch my head because I’m supposed to choose between Hispanic and Asian. When available, I will select “Other”.
Often, soon after meeting someone for the first time, I am asked what my back ground is. I understand: my features do not make it easy to peg down exactly what I am. A gentleman from India recently asked if I was born in India or here in the United States. I smiled; the guesses run across the board. I find it flattering and interesting.
To confuse people further, my maiden name - Isaac (originally pronounced IZ-ah-awk) is Syrian Jewish. Yup. The ancestors on my dad’s side fled Syria from persecution and made their way to China. Many families migrated from China down to the Pacific Islands, the Philippines. Somewhere along the way, the pronunciation changed to eye-zak. The Spanish allowed my family to keep the name Isaac because it was biblical and quite frankly, easy to pronounce.
I actually love not looking like one particular race. I love the concept that we are all one and eventually will one day meld into a unique, multi-ethnic mix of people. While I appreciate looking unique and being born of parents from two different ethnic backgrounds, I have experienced discrimination. Discrimination from white people, yellow people, brown people…even my “own kind”.
When I was a teenager, my friend Melissa and I went to the mall. Melissa, was tall, had long sandy brown hair and bright, big blue eyes. She had a few clothing items on her arm. The retail assistant greeted her and offered to take her selection to a fitting room. She didn’t even look at me. I had an armful of clothing on my arm, but I was completely ignored. The thing was, I was the one with the credit card and Melissa was just going to try a few things for the fun of it. I remember being embarrassed, hurt and angry.
More than once, I have had to defend the fact that my dad, who looks like your typical gentleman from South East Asia, is in fact my dad. People have said, “He looks Asian. You don’t.” It seems difficult to conceive that my father procreated with, gasp, a latin lady. Many Filipino people only become interested once I tell them that I am half Filipino. The usual response is, “of course, you’re so pretty!” It’s hard not to let my jaw drop open.
It makes my heart sink when people address the differences in facial features between my sister and I. Some have said, “You’re the prettier one because your sister has a Filipino nose and she’s darker.” Seriously, people? My sister is stunning. She’s beautiful inside and out.
What IS with the thing about being darker? Sadly, both sides - the hispanic and Filipino - find it unappealing when I get “too dark”. The Filipino side has said “She’s so dark” and looked at me like something “happened to me”. The latin side has said, “Don’t get too dark. You don’t want to be a negrita.” I kid you not. Recently, after traveling and being in the sun a lot, an older (white) man whispered to me like it was shameful “You’ve gotten very dark”. These comments make my skin crawl. They make me angry and it takes a lot to not punch people in the throat.
Why is it bad to be dark?
Discrimination, of any kind, is wrong. Discrimination comes from ignorance. While it is sad that discrimination is still happening in 2017, I have hope. I believe there is potential for growth, to learn, to understand, to be compassionate. My experiences have helped me become more appreciative of differences,
As a Chumash elder recently said, “The Universal religion should be Love”. A Tao monk said, “Kindness should be the Universal Law”. It is our responsibility to get educated, to learn the language of intelligence and kindness.
I am passionate about this. That's why I helped create an important committee at Unity of Santa Barbara; Unity Interfaith Pride Alliance. UIPA’s Mission is focused on compassion, social justice and the inclusion of ALL. We’re doing a six-part educational series about prejudice, titled “Us AND Them,” as it relates to racism, religionism, handicap, sexism, wealth/poor, and LGBTQ issues. Our intention for this series is to help raise awareness and compassion through community dialogue in a safe, loving environment.
Our first discussion is next Friday, February 17th and the topic is racism. I’m on the panel, representing mixed breeds like myself. For more information on our series, please visit:
Url: http://www.santabarbaraunity.org/interfaith-pride-alliance-us-and-them
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unityinterfaithprideallianceofsantabarbara/
There’s a ventriloquist named Jeff Dunham who has a jalapeño on a stick named Jose’ Jalapeño. He coined the term Fili-peño. Create a new box on an application and call it “Fili-peño” and I will check it. It would not be entirely accurate, but it would be a bit closer to the truth and certainly a bit more open minded.